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THE SCAPEGOAT CLUB

Welcome to my Blog
I’m in the process of reshaping how I share my video and therapeutic work. I won’t be posting new blog entries for now, but I’ll update the website and YouTube channel when the next phase is ready.
I'm excited to share the new content with you. Stay tuned and see you soon!
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The Fairytale of The Scapegoated Child
Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Chessie. She had an older sister, Goldie, and they lived with their mum and dad in a...
Jun 4, 20255 min read


When Family Feels Like a Cult: How to Break Free from Toxic Control
When you try to create distance or step away from a controlling family, the reaction can be extreme. Suddenly, you’re labeled ungrateful, disrespectful, or even a "bad" family member. The fear of rejection and the risk of being shunned makes it even harder to break free from their control.
May 17, 20255 min read


Social Anxiety After Narcissistic Abuse: Why It Happens and How to Heal
People who experience this kind of social anxiety are often deeply caring, thoughtful, and empathetic. But when you've been made to feel like you’re “too much” or “not enough” over and over again, especially in social situations, your brain starts to scan for danger every time you're around others.
May 10, 20253 min read


3 simple steps to reconciling with your estranged adult child- simple but not easy!
I received your message. I understand that you’re feeling like we need some time apart, and I will respect it. I love you, and when you’re ready, I’m here to talk.
Apr 26, 20254 min read


Should Estranged Children Have A Right To Inheritance?
There’s a common argument floating around that if you're estranged from your family, you shouldn't expect any inheritance. But this perspective is far too simplistic and fails to capture the complexities of estrangement and the deeper family dynamics at play. Estrangement isn’t always a clear-cut, voluntary choice, and inheritance can be tied to much deeper issues of power, control, and harm within families.
Apr 26, 20254 min read


Low Contact vs No Contact: Why I Chose Full Estrangement
Low contact might seem like a manageable solution—keeping in touch occasionally, maybe sending birthday cards, or checking in during...
Apr 22, 20252 min read


My best childhood memory- and what it says about my family
It was the first time I remember being acknowledged for something positive, something good about me.
Apr 9, 20254 min read


How to Cope When Your Bio Parent Sides with a Toxic Step-Parent
In an ideal situation, a good step-parent is supportive, patient, and understands their role within the family structure. But if not....
Mar 29, 20254 min read


4 Signs of Low Commitment in Relationships: Are You Giving More Than You’re Receiving?
If you have a parent who only wants to hear about your successes, happy moments, or positive updates, this is another sign of low commitment
Mar 1, 20253 min read


What Would it Take for Me to Reconcile with My Estranged Family?
I’ve never felt a genuine desire for connection based on mutual respect and understanding.
Feb 15, 20252 min read


Three Manipulative Tactics Toxic Parents Use to Control Their Children
The “time traveler parent" is one who manipulates the timeline of events to suit their narrative and avoid accountability.
Feb 8, 20254 min read


The Fundamental Question We Don't Ask When People Estrange From Their Families
If you're a parent wondering how to reconnect with an estranged child, start by asking a simple yet powerful question.
Feb 1, 20254 min read


Navigating Sibling Rivalry Over Inheritance: How to Protect Yourself and Find Peace
Dealing with family conflict over inheritance can be complicated. It’s crucial to approach the situation with awareness and independence.
Jan 25, 20254 min read


Why a Child May Think Their Parent is a Narcissist (But They're Actually Not)
When parents do not recognize the need for their child to establish their own identity, it can lead to a suffocating dynamic.
Jan 11, 20254 min read


Processing Childhood Memories from Difficult Upbringings: A Path to Healing
When we start questioning the validity of our memories, it can feel unsettling. What we once recalled as clear moments may appear distorted.
Jan 4, 20255 min read


What 'Going No Contact' in Family Estrangement Actually Means
If your child has decided to go no contact, it’s likely that there is a fundamental issue in the relationship.
Dec 29, 20245 min read


The Surprising Science of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is complicated. Which is curious for a word that gets tossed around daily as if it's no big deal.
Dec 1, 20242 min read


Reducing family stress during holiday season
Family conflict can make us feel very lonely around the holidays. Here are 5 ways to stay afloat.
Nov 27, 20242 min read


Do Discussions Of Soul Mate Parenting Cloud The Real Issues Of Estrangement?
We need space for children to be heard, not fake discussions
excusing parents for not meeting unrealistic relationship expectations
Nov 23, 20243 min read


10 Things Parents Can Do (or Avoid) to Build a Better Relationship With Their Kids
As my work in estrangement expands to include estranged parents, I often find people reaching out to me in fear that their kids might...
Nov 7, 20244 min read


When Social Media Complicates Estrangement
Social media constantly parades glossy, curated families in front of us.
On the other side, parents or relatives can read emptiness into your silence — no tag, no post, no update — and interpret it as erasure. Everyone ends up hurting.
But remember: platforms reward harmony and visibility, not boundaries, privacy, or emotional maturity. Stepping back is often growth, even if it looks like withdrawal.
Dec 20, 20254 min read


Three Big Ways Narcissistic Parents Misunderstand Trust
Ongoing trust in a relationship is not automatic.
Yes, children are born dependent. Out of necessity, they have no choice but to trust their caregivers. But that provisional, survival-based trust is not the same as earned trust. It’s not permanent.
And when that trust is repeatedly betrayed—through neglect, manipulation, dismissal, or harm—a child may not recognize it at the time. Kids overlook things. They blame themselves.
Dec 9, 20253 min read


Silent Estrangements: The Distance We Don't See
If estrangement includes both a lack of closeness and a lack of contact, then many parents don’t even notice the emotional withdrawal. Children learn early to show the family what they want, not who they truly are.
So when the child finally walks away:
“It came out of nowhere!” says the parent.
But the estrangement didn’t start that day. It started years earlier, in the silences, in the performances, and in the emotional disconnection.
Nov 29, 20253 min read
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