4 Signs of Low Commitment in Relationships: Are You Giving More Than You’re Receiving?

Relationships are built on trust, communication, and commitment. But sometimes, we find ourselves giving more than we’re getting back. It can be particularly difficult when these imbalances happen in family dynamics, where the expectation of support and connection is high. If you’ve ever found yourself in a relationship where you feel like you’re the only one putting in the effort, you might be experiencing signs of low commitment from the other person.

As a psychotherapist and coach, I’ve seen how this dynamic plays out. It can happen in all types of relationships, including that between parents and children. I want to share four key signs that might indicate someone has low commitment to the relationship. These signs aren’t always obvious, but recognizing them can help you assess the relationship and decide how to respond.

1. Setting Limits on What Can Be Discussed

A major red flag in any relationship is when someone sets strict boundaries on what topics are “off-limits.” If you’ve ever been in a conversation where someone refuses to talk about certain subjects—be it a past argument, a difficult family event, or something that’s been bothering you—it’s a clear sign that the relationship isn’t open and reciprocal.

Communication is key to building a healthy relationship, and when a person refuses to talk about certain things, they’re essentially closing the door to deeper connection and mutual understanding. While some people may set boundaries for valid reasons, especially if they're trying to protect their emotions or avoid triggering past trauma, it’s important to recognize when these limits are being imposed to avoid confronting uncomfortable truths or feelings.

2. Only Wanting to Hear the Good Stuff

If you have a parent who only wants to hear about your successes, happy moments, or positive updates, this is another sign that the relationship may not be as committed or balanced as you might hope.

When someone only wants to hear the good things, it reflects a lack of support for you when you're going through tough times. Healthy relationships are built on mutual care, where both parties can lean on each other, whether the other person is struggling or celebrating. If you find that someone in your life only wants to know when everything is going well for you, it’s a clear indication that they’re not emotionally invested in being there for you during difficult moments.

3. Backing Out of Difficult Conversations

Ever had a conversation where someone initially seems open and eager to discuss difficult issues, but the moment things get tough, they shut down? This can happen in many relationships, particularly when dealing with people who are uncomfortable with confrontation or avoid emotional vulnerability.

When someone offers to talk things through but backs out when the conversation becomes challenging, it shows a lack of commitment to resolving conflicts or dealing with the deeper issues in the relationship. If the person is truly committed to the relationship, they’ll be willing to work through the tough stuff, even if it’s uncomfortable.

4. Different Rules for Engagement

In some relationships, you might notice an imbalance in how emotions, opinions, and issues are expressed. Maybe the other person is allowed to vent about their problems or share their opinions freely, but when you try to do the same, your thoughts are dismissed, or you’re met with silence or criticism.

This unbalanced engagement is a significant sign of low commitment. When you have to constantly monitor your words, censor yourself, or brace for a negative response, it indicates that the other person is only willing to engage with you on their terms. A healthy, committed relationship is reciprocal, where both parties feel free to express themselves openly and without fear of judgment or rejection.

What Can You Do About It?

Recognizing these signs of low commitment can help you decide how to proceed in your relationships. If you see that someone is not giving you the same level of effort, respect, or emotional investment, it’s important to reassess how much energy you want to continue putting into that relationship. Healthy relationships require mutual effort, and it’s okay to set boundaries around what you’re willing to tolerate.

It’s essential to recognize your own worth and not settle for relationships where the commitment is one-sided. While there may be times when relationships go through rough patches, and people struggle to offer full commitment, a consistent lack of reciprocity can be draining. In these situations, it might be time to reconsider the relationship’s future and determine whether it’s worth continuing to invest in.

Take care, and remember, you deserve relationships that are balanced and mutually supportive.

Much love,

Chess

xx