THE SCAPEGOAT CLUB

Welcome to my Blog

I’m in the process of reshaping how I share my video and therapeutic work. I won’t be posting new blog entries for now, but I’ll update the website and YouTube channel when the next phase is ready.

I'm excited to share the new content with you. Stay tuned and see you soon!

The lack of closure with family estrangement

I never thought I would end up estranged from my family. That was something that happened to other people, not me, not us. But when I did...

Jun 12, 20233 min read

Underhand ways a narcissist will try to win an argument

Winning an argument against a narcissist, as any scapegoat will know, is a futile endeavor. They are masters at manipulation. We think we...

Jun 5, 20233 min read

Reasons we struggle to leave our narcissistic families

Deciding on whether to stay in or leave our MUFOOs (messed-up-families-of-origin) can be really complicated. Firstly, we have to see the...

May 29, 20234 min read

7 ways a covert narcissistic parent will try to undermine our happiness

Covert narcissists are threatened by other people's positivity, happiness or successes. Because they are so fragile and unhappy, they are...

May 22, 20234 min read

How narcissistic parents manipulate their children using guilt

Feeling guilty is one of a Scapegoat child's default setting. Alongside shame, fear, and confusion, it's a pretty steady state of being...

May 16, 20233 min read

Playing the Scapegoat in a Narcissistic family's story

When we are Scapegoats in a toxic family system, we have one role. That role is to be the person who takes the blame for anything that...

May 9, 20231 min read

Supercharge your recovery from narcissistic abuse.... with gratitude

Yeah, I know, you've heard it before and seen all the cheesy posts on social media. But there is a reason why gratitude is touted by a...

May 5, 20232 min read

What is a Scapegoat, anyway?

The Scapegoat Club, SGC, came about as I was working through my recovery from an abusive, toxic, highly narcissistic family system....

May 2, 20232 min read

Life after narcissistic families

Welcome friends, fellow scapegoats! Thank you for being here. I am excited to finally be launching the official SGC website! The Scapegoat Club (SGC) is building a wonderful, supportive community on YouTube for those of us who are struggling with the reality of living with narcissistic, abusive, toxic, and dysfunctional families. The natural step is for me to offer some thoughts, resources and a safe space for you all to read and explore in your own time.

May 2, 20231 min read

When Social Media Complicates Estrangement

Social media constantly parades glossy, curated families in front of us. On the other side, parents or relatives can read emptiness into your silence — no tag, no post, no update — and interpret it as erasure. Everyone ends up hurting. But remember: platforms reward harmony and visibility, not boundaries, privacy, or emotional maturity. Stepping back is often growth, even if it looks like withdrawal.

Dec 20, 20254 min read

Three Big Ways Narcissistic Parents Misunderstand Trust

Ongoing trust in a relationship is not automatic. Yes, children are born dependent. Out of necessity, they have no choice but to trust their caregivers. But that provisional, survival-based trust is not the same as earned trust. It’s not permanent. And when that trust is repeatedly betrayed—through neglect, manipulation, dismissal, or harm—a child may not recognize it at the time. Kids overlook things. They blame themselves.

Dec 9, 20253 min read

Silent Estrangements: The Distance We Don't See

If estrangement includes both a lack of closeness and a lack of contact, then many parents don’t even notice the emotional withdrawal. Children learn early to show the family what they want, not who they truly are. So when the child finally walks away: “It came out of nowhere!” says the parent. But the estrangement didn’t start that day. It started years earlier, in the silences, in the performances, and in the emotional disconnection.

Nov 29, 20253 min read